Dumb Thief

Segment from my short-lived blog ‘WilliamintheNetherlands’ (http://williaminthenetherlands.wordpress.com/wp-admin/).  August 11.  Traveling in Krakow, Poland, a month before my exchange in the Netherlands starts.  Not really a cultural story, but a traveling story nonetheless.  Some swearing.

As expected, my drunk room mates entered at about 4am. Loud whispering, back slaps and yahooing – the usual sh*t. There were 2 groups, one French and one English, who it seemed had been drinking together. My other sober room mate was a girl. The sh*t lasted for about half an hour. I woke up early – 6:45 – with plans to visit Auschwitz. If you get there before 10am it’s free entry (ie you don’t need a tour guide to get in) and the bus leaves at 7:50.

HOWEVER: I noticed my shorts were in a different position to where I’d left them last night – closer to my neighbours bunk. I grabbed them and checked my wallet and camera. Camera was there, but my wallet was missing 50 euro. I waited a minute then went apesh*t. OK, so leaving my wallet in my shorts was lax of me, but it was right next to me on top of a cupboard. I shook the guy on the middle bunk awake. They were English. I tell him I’m missing 50 euro. Back and forth a few standoffish comments (f*k you where the f*k is my f*king money). He showed me his wallet, and it didn’t have much in there. By then most people are awake but I had the upper hand – no hang over. I asked the guy on the bottom bunk (f*k you where the f*king is my f*king money). He was a lot quieter, but again, no money in his wallet. By now I’m realising there will be no end to this – how do I identify 50 euro as mine? The guy on the top bunk starts mumbling ‘where’s my wallet?’. I stood up on the ladder and told him to look under his pillow (f*k you, look under your f*king pillow like all your f*king dipsh*t friends did). He pulls out a camera case but no wallet. F*k. I return fire with the middle bunk man, who insists they aren’t thieving tossers. Top bunk guy pulls out a $20 note from his camera bag. A $20 AUSTRALIAN note! “You f*king…” I grab the bag off him and find my 50 euro, along with some coins and a locker key. I gave him the once over, gave his mate in the middle a once over, packed my stuff and went to the bathroom. Now that I’d recovered I still needed to make it to Auschwitz. After my quick shower – heart still beating a 100 times an hour – the thief is waiting in the lobby. I’m glad that I’m taller than him. He says he’s sorry, but he can’t find his wallet or his locker key, he thinks his key was in his camera bag. After much unhelpful comments from me (f*k you I took your key – you’re the f*king thief!). I let him look at my wallet where the dumbarse thought I had his key. Of course, it was in my pocket. I left smiling that he was going to lose his 20zl deposit.