are you missing Oz?

Thought I would pass this on for nostalgia’s sake

RURAL AUSTRALIAN COMPUTER TERMINOLOGY
(From a country pub noticeboard in South Australia)

LOG ON: Adding wood to make the barbie hotter
LOG OFF: Not adding any more wood to the barbie
MONITOR: Keeping an eye on the barbie
DOWNLOAD: Getting the firewood off the Ute
HARD DRIVE: Making the trip back home without any cold tinnies
KEYBOARD: Where you hang the Ute keys
WINDOW: What you shut when the weather’s cold
SCREEN: What you shut in the mozzie season
BYTE: What mozzies do
MEGABYTE: What Townsville mozzies do
CHIP: A bar snack
MICROCHIP: What’s left in the bag after you’ve eaten the chips
MODEM: What you did to the lawns
LAPTOP: Where the cat sleeps
SOFTWARE: Plastic knives and forks you get at Red Rooster
HARDWARE: Stainless steel knives and forks – from K-Mart
MOUSE: The small rodent that eats the grain in the shed
MAINFRAME: What holds the shed up
WEB: What spiders make
WEBSITE: Usually in the shed or the verandah
SEARCH ENGINE: What you do when the Ute won’t go
CURSOR: What you say when the Ute won’t go
YAHOO: What you say when the Ute does go
UPGRADE: A steep hill
SERVER: The bloke at the pub who brings out the counter lunch
USER: The neighbour who keeps borrowing things
NETWORK: What you do when you need to repair the fishing net
INTERNET: Where you want the fish to go
NETSCAPE: What the fish do when they discover the hole in the net
ONLINE: Where you hang the washing
OFFLINE: Where the washing ends up when the peg aren’t strong enough